Let’s talk about girls and boys again
let’s talk about jokes about sandwiches and knees
let’s get a little bit ridiculous
it used to be fun when we were little kids
I have a cunt that’s a funny word
all this stuff’s pretty funny let’s be stupid it’s funny
me and my friend we laugh so hard we
mess up our stories and we almost fall over
and what’s wrong with us laughing
we met when we were eleven
and some part of you is always eleven
and some part of you is always nineteen
and some part is always on the attack
like the part in the back of your head
that’s always screaming girls girls girls
we’re the best of friends friends friends
she played Helen Keller in the middle school play
I was her mom and we practiced
eating lunch with our eyes closed and silent
couldn’t see what we were trying to swallow
ask me why couldn’t Helen Keller drive
this man on the class trip to Washington tried
to make us let him touch our heads with a head massager
and I was like no thanks
and the teachers called to us girls girls girls
and we ran to our friends friends friends
we dressed in drag national pirate day
Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner
I can look a lot like Johnny Depp under certain circumstances
they put our picture real big in the yearbook
even straight girls came for a second look
the closest we got to being Ferris fucking Bueller
almost except girls girls girls
or close enough yeah friends friends friends
and she was always braver than me
or else she couldn’t stop herself
from knives and tacks to blacking out
at parties full of wild hyenas
it was there if you knew how to look for it
if you’d asked me I’d have told you it was there
wanna know why we’re so strong and laugh the hardest well I don’t care
when she told me we were eleven
I couldn’t make pictures out of the words
when she told her parents we were nineteen
I hate the things that men do
eleven in a church basement
nobody asked for specifics
and I didn’t know what to ask her
so I shut my mouth and hid her blades for years
and they called her whore in the boys’ bathroom
they’d never say those things about me
they were busy egging my garage door
I hate the things that you laugh at
let’s talk about cunt that’s a funny word
I hate the things that men do
let’s talk about knees and keeping quiet
I hate the things that you laugh at
no captain going to turn up
I hate the things that men do
so blind and deaf in the capitol
I hate the things that you laugh at
let’s talk about girls girls gi-i-i-
I hate the things that men do
we mix up our stories I almost fall over some part of you
let’s talk about girls and boys again let’s get a little bit ridiculous
used to be fun when we were little kids the things we tangle up